⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣷⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⠀⣠⣤⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡷⠀ ⠻⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣀ ⠀⠀⢹⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢙⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠛⠓ ⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠟⠿⠷⠶⠶⠾⠿⢿⠿⠿⠿ Don't mind me, just a feller out on the farm.

૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა⋆˚🐾˖°໒꒰ྀི´• ˕ •` ꒱ྀིა(\_/)‎♡‧₊˚‎♡‧₊˚

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA.╰⋃╯PENIS

You are not funny. In the expansive and virtually boundless universe of attempts to weave the tapestry of laughter, wherein the intricate threads of humor intermingle in an elaborate dance across the vast canvas of comedic expression, and where the kaleidoscope of comedic endeavors unfurls like an ever-expanding cosmic saga, one, in their unwavering pursuit to elicit the coveted echoes of mirth and amusement, finds themselves inexorably navigating the labyrinthine corridors of jest and wit, driven by an undaunted determination, and yet, paradoxically, it is with a degree of almost supernatural consistency and an almost mystical regularity that their forays into the comedic abyss inadvertently manifest as a poignant reflection of the elusive and capricious nature of laughter itself, whereby, in a scenario as confounding as the enigma of the cosmos, the gravitational pull of humor, rather than drawing forth the anticipated crescendo of laughter, assumes the peculiar role of an unseen force repelling the very essence of amusement, thereby rendering their comedic offerings, with an unintentional but undeniable flair, as poignant testimonies to the uncharted depths of the unfunny, creating an immersive experience within the comedic realm where the anticipated reverberations of laughter conspicuously wane, and the expected comedic brilliance, instead of ascending to the zenith of hilarity, languishes in the shadowy recesses of a comedic void, thereby painting a vivid tableau of a comedic landscape where the echoes of laughter remain conspicuously absent, establishing them, albeit unwittingly, as an unwitting sentinel at the periphery of joviality, a singular entity in the vast expanse of amusement whose comedic resonance, or lack thereof, serves as a symbolic and unintentional testament to the unpredictable, enigmatic, and, at times, elusive nature of humor itself, whereby, through no fault of their own, they assume the role of a denizen of the comedic void, forever poised on the edges of amusement, forever in pursuit of the elusive echoes of laughter that remain tantalizingly out of reach in the vast and intricate cosmic ballet of comedic expression. 🙄

Spare coochie M'lady? But a crumb of punani. The clam slam is preferable but only a taste shall suffice. The yearn for the pussyussy.

cat 😺/ᐠﹷ ‸ ﹷ ᐟ\ﾉ

🟫🟫🟫. 🟫🟫🟫 🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫 🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫 🟫⬜️⬜️🟫🟫🟫🟫⬜️⬜️🟫 🟫⬜️⬛️🟫🟫🟫🟫⬛️⬜️🟫 🟫🟫🟫🟫🟥🟥🟫🟫🟫🟫 🟫🟫⬛️🟫🟫🟫🟫⬛️🟫🟫 🟫🟫🟫⬛️🟫🟫⬛️🟫🟫🟫 🟫🟫🟫🟫⬛️⬛️🟫🟫🟫🟫 🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫

⋆˚࿔ show me who you are𝜗𝜚˚⋆ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

𝐏𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐬😵🧑🏾‍🎤🤚🏻

💀 ≤))≥ _| \_

If you really think about your place in the universe, you should come to find that everything you do is completely pointless. You are truly negligible and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change that. There is nothing you can do to change the fact that you are going to die. There's nothing you can do to change the inevitable death of the universe. You are not special and there is nothing you can do to change the fact that you are not special. nothing matters whatsoever. it doesn't matter if you are alive right now or not. it doesn't even matter that the Big Bang ever happened You are going to die and enter the same state you were in before you were born. You will become nothing. you will lost all your memories and achievements. So why would you put all the effort and into doing great things in the first place? So what if you ended world under? you didn't truly save anyone's life. putting in a heart effort is analogous as an outward charm. you put it to a man pushing older up a hill, only to have it roll back down again. just a poor waste with nothing ultimately gained. it doesn't matter how much money you make, how many people you kill. What's your GPA in school? it's for your fate remains the same. so don't get stressed out about anything. just relax and enjoy your negligible existence. according to standard model of particle physics, we are just a bunch of particle under the delusion that things actually matter. not only you, but all of life itself isn't even close to a cosmic blink of an eye. if you measure the lifetime of the universe from it's beginning to the apparition of a black hole to a 24 hour day, the time interval where life is possible is smaller than the Planck time, which is the smallest unit of time possible. In other words, the time interval in which the universe is habitable or life is too small to even happen, or at 24 hour universe lifetime. In fact, it wouldn't even be possible for a year or even a billion years. Calculations show that in order for life to exist for just one second, the universe's lifetime must be greater than a trillion, trillion, trillion trillion years old. Yes that is 6 trillion. many people underestimate how insignificant we are. Soon all matter will decay into radiation as the universe asymptotically approaches absolute zero. Once everything reaches maximum entropy, the universe will die a death. There is nothing anyone can do to change this. There is no hope. We are all due to die and we all have the same fate no matter what we accomplished, experienced or achieved. Nobody has any ultimate superiority over you and you have no ultimate superiority over anyone. There is no ultimate reason to try too hard, for everything you do will be lost and doesn't matter to only what is necessary to enjoy your life. Anything more would be stupid.

⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH (the skibidi toilet series is over)Šķībǐðî şįğmą

I'm dead 💀 (biologically speaking I am, in fact, alive. However, to emphasize how hilarious I found the comment just made, I made a hyperbolic statement saying that I was dead because it implies that I found the joke so funny I ceased to live. However, I am indeed alive and well so there is no need for you all to worry. I was simply employing the tactic of figurative language in order to better and more effectively communicate my message. Additionally, using slang and sayings commonly employed by the youth has made my message more understandable and reachable by the younger generation, many of whom are in this chat. For example, I could have said "that joke was a real knee slapper". This would have made sense to some of the older people in this chat as knee slapping used to be a sign of hilarity. However, in this digital age in which we now live, knee slapping is not as common and many of today's youth may not understand the reference. I therefore made my message more understandable to younger people through my use of simple, easily understood slang. I hope this clears everything up, and I appreciate any concern that I was actually dead. I can assure you I am alive and well.)

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy.Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy.

gender is NOT the same as sex. gender is what you identify as, sex is what i'll be having with [name] tonight

Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + no skill + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + clownclownclown + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + the cognitive dissonance is real with this one + small dick energy + lol copium + snowflake + those tears taste delicious + Lisa Simpson meme template saying that your opinion is wrong + wojak meme in which I'm the chad + average your opinion fan vs average my opinion enjoyer + random k-pop fancam + cry more + how's your wife's boyfriend doing + Cheetos breath + Intelligence 0 + r/whooooosh + r/downvotedtooblivion + blocked and reported + yo Momma so fat + what zero pussy does to a mf + Jesse what the fuck are you talking about + holy shit go touch some grass + cry about it + get triggered x2 + stfu + 1%iler + shiven nikam is smarter than you + cry about it

to give a little Background Info, i Love watching YouTube Shorts. i Binge watch them all day. on everage, i Spend about 8 hours DAILY watching Shorts, its my guilty pleasure. No one knows about this, as i keep it a good Secret. one day, when i was meant to be at school, i was watching some Shorts, my Mom came in and she was shocked, so i Hid my Phone under my pillow, and told her to leave since i was having a WANKY. i got away With it, but the next day i was around my girlfriends House, i was watching Shorts the whole time and i was so sneaky, she didn't notice. she was trying to make advances at me and Put her Hand on my thigh, i didnt Thing much of it and keept scrolling, after a while she noticed i was watching YouTube Shorts, when i was watching "skibidi toilet 66 - Fan Made" and suddenly my phones valume when Up to the Maximum and she Put her Hand Off my thigh and screamed "ARE YOU WATCHING SKIBIDI TOILET?!". im currently sitting on her porch pooking my eyes Out. im Not Sure If i'll ever be able to Recover from this, but atleast i have skibidi toilet.😭😭😭😭😭😭

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠖⠊⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠲⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡤⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠈⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡂⠀⠇⠱⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢄⡀⢠⣟⢭⣥⣤⠽⡆⠀⡶⣊⣉⣲⣤⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠐⠂⠘⠄⣈⣙⡡⡴⠀⠀⠙⣄⠙⣛⠜⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠛⠀⠀⠀⢸⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⢄⣘⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⡀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠈⡟⠒⠲⣄⠀⠀⡰⠇⠖⢄⠀⠀⡹⡇⢀⠎⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠹⠀⡞⠀⠀⢀⠤⣍⠭⡀⢱⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣠⠞⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢴⠥⠤⠦⠦⡼⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣠⢤⠐⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠬⠥⣄⠀⠀⠈⠲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⠀⠀⢀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠦⠤⢤⣄⣀⣠⠤⢿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⡿⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠈⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣯⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣷⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⡟⠋⠉⣹⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀ ⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⡆⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⣿⣧⡀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⣽⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢹⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠁⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times, a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up, and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage

Once apon a time a man named uncle Frank decided to gallop into an 8 year olds fallopian tubes, once he entered, he encountered some eggs that he wanted to hatch, so he took a few then jumped out the vulva. “MY KIDS!” said the child, nonchalantly, Frank ran off, when he finally got to his house and the girl stopped chasing him he decided to add it to his collection of special items, the items included, his grandmas breast implants he loved to chew on, his $8 porn hub gift card, some cum from his dads spiderman undies and Curious George’s penis. “Finally, I can add these!” Frank put the eggs on the table but it accidentally rolled onto his dads sperm! Frank didnt realise this yet so he frolicked to his computer to watch his favourite, sophisticated show- Porn! when he was in the middle of some hardcore, toe curling action he heard a baby “Dada?” the baby gabbled, confused, Frank Jumped nonscienquebtially to the child and realised his egg and sperm were gone, “Oh no!”, panicked Frank, “did they mix?!” With the baby still asking for his dad, Frank had settled in chopping of its penis to add to his penis collection “a bit small but its my thirty second penis” after chopping the babys junk of, he kindly thew it out the window ❤️

( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )😝🧋🧸

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~

Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾)

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out

hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...