r/shortscarystories 5 yr. ago hyperobscura 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒© Would you like a finger in your mouth? How about two? How about the whole hand? If your answer to any of these questions is a loud, resounding YES (as well it should be) then boy do we, your friends over at 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒, have news for you! Introducing RIGHT NOW the revolutionary, reactionary, rejuvenating, resolute, re-revolutionary, utterly repulsive 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒©! Imagine if you will a piece of toast, fresh out of the toaster, sizzling hot, like blazing hellfire. You can’t very well grab it with your bare hands, now can you? No, that’d be stupid. You’d probably end up losing one or several limbs, and we can’t have none of that outside of 𝓐𝓶𝓹𝓾𝓽𝓮𝓮 𝓢𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓸𝓷. It’s against the law you know! The answer? 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒©! Not only do they look like hands, they feel like hands too. Our scientists have spent decades locked in our subterranean laboratory searching for a way to perfectly replicate the subtle intricacies of the human hand, all the way down to the warts and dirty fingernails. Our state of the art N̴E̴R̴V̴E̴ ̴R̴E̴P̴L̴A̴C̴E̴M̴E̴N̴T̴S̴ will, through an easy to use, totally safe ish guiding system help you maneuver those greasy old mittens toward the general direction of your sustenance, and with the flip of a switch, or in this case a fleshy appendage hauntingly reminiscent of an oversized uvula, the 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒© will gently (or not so gently, depending on your feeding fancies (no judgements here)) smear the insides of your mouth lovingly, passionately, sensually, with the nutritional product of your choosing. Mmm, imagine that. A wrinkly old thumb caressing your gums with greasy bits of burgers and mushy gravy-covered sausages. A filthy index finger stroking mayonnaise and spray cheese around your lips seductively. Heaven in a Hand! A totally realistic, not-at-all real and living, hand, haha! You don’t have to worry about paying. You don’t even have to worry about ordering. Check your kitchen drawers. Where’d those forks go? The tongs? The oven mittens? They’re all gone! We’ve replaced them for you! Everyone uses 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒© now. It’s not a question. It’s not even a choice. It just is what it is. And what it is, is the future of fine dining! Remember, here at 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒, it’s perfectly acceptable to bite the hand that feeds you. We even encourage it! Nothing like some “synthetic” blood to season your food while you’re chewing it. No need to thank us. We’re simply here to serve ₣ⱠɆ₮₵ⱧɆⱤ. As are you. 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 are in no way responsible for any mutilations, deaths or massacres related to misuse of the 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒©. DO NOT CLEAN THIS PRODUCT. Leave it instead in a bowl of blood overnight, virgin or newborn preferably, and make sure to NOT TOUCH IT before every last drop is gone. Should it go missing during a nightly “self cleaning sequence”, please make sure to BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE.

r/shortscarystories 2 yr. ago ForgottenWell Profile Badge for the Achievement Top 1% Poster Top 1% Poster Sometimes infants don't survive... “Are we bad parents for buying generic formula?” “What do you mean?” I asked my wife, Amelia. She was gently rocking our newborn, examining two bulk sized containers of formula. The generic stuff and the name brand, which was almost twice as expensive. “It's like when you get an oil change,” she said, “and they ask ‘what type of oil do you want?’ And you say, ‘give me whatevers cheapest.’ You know that eventually the cheap stuff will screw up your engine, but you do it anyway. Only we’re basically doing that with our child… Does that make us bad parents?” “Honey,” I said, “we knew when we had this baby that we would have to make sacrifices.” I gently placed my hand on her shoulder. “Doing the best we can does not make us bad people.” She looked at me and smiled, grabbed the generic formula, and tossed it in our cart. I should mention that we didn’t plan on having this baby, and babies are—above all things—expensive. We had to move back in with my parents, take on a ton of medical debt. I had to sell my dream car. It made life hell. I suggested very early on that it might be better not to go through with the pregnancy, but Amelia said she could never end a child’s life… “Sometimes babies die for no reason, and it’s nobody’s fault.” The doctor is being as gentle as he can considering the situation. I held my wife as she bawled her eyes out. After all the sacrifices, our baby boy was taken from us anyway. Amelia wasn’t the same after that. Something changed. She got this idea in her head that it was the generic formula that did this to our boy. “I knew we should have got the expensive stuff! They put poison in the generic stuff and it killed our child!” I tried to kindly suggest that she was wrong, but she wouldn’t listen. Instead, I tried to distance myself, and hoped she would snap out of it. I came home from work one day to find multiple black vans parked outside my parent’s house. It was the FBI. Amelia had been running experiments in my parents basement, feeding all manner of critters formula in an attempt to prove it was poison. She was recording these experiments and putting them up on youtube. All of the animals died from malnutrition, which only further convinced her. Last night, she was caught trying to break into the manufacturer of the generic formula with a bomb. The FBI had to take her in for questioning. Later, I went to see her in a holding cell. “The FBI, they’re in on this! All these evil people just want poor people dead!” “Amelia,” I said, “I have something important I need to tell you, and you have got to listen to me.” “What?” “All this formula stuff isn’t real. And I know that because I’m the one who killed our baby.”