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Go to TwoSentenceComedy r/TwoSentenceComedy 1 yr. ago GuyAwks Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep. But Farmer Button just found some mutton.

r/shortscarystories 4 yr. ago Perfect__Nightmare Someone broke into our home It was every family's nightmare. My wife and I had the day off work, and we had taken our son out for lunch and some family bonding time. But as we approached our home, something felt off. I had a growıng sense of dread the closer we got. As our house came into view, I could see that the front door was wide open. Someone had broken into our høme. I told my family to wait͝ outside, in case the ıntruder was still inside. They obliged, and I slowly and silently made my way through our house. As I stepped into the living room, I saw broken furniture, nothing in its correct place, just utter chaos. Was this person looking for something? Did they have malicious intent? Why our home? Why us? Next, I walked to our kitchen. The fridge had been emptied. Dishes and food were thrown all over the room. What kind of person had broken into our home? A homeless person who just needed food? If so, why had they destroyed the living room? That's when I heard it. Footsteps in the bedroom. The ıntruder was still in our house. I took a brief moment to be grateful that I had asked my wife and son to wait outside. It was impossible to decipher this person's motives so far. But I was about to come face to face with the person that forcefully entered our home. And I would demand answers. I crept toward the bedroom slowly, slowly. I approached the door, and focused on the sliver of light slipping through the crack. I could see faint shadows dancing in the light. I raised my hand, placed it against the door, and took a deep breath, readying myself for whatever may be on the other side. I pushed the door open and stepped through the threshold with authority. I couldn't believe my eyes. I actually rubbed my hands over them, thinking I was imagining things. There, in my son's bed, was a young gırl with curly blonde hair. She stared at me with wıde eyes. She must have been terrıfıed. I must have been a few feet taller and at least 100 pounds heavıer than her. I must have been a sight to see for that little girl. But she should have considered that before breakıng into my home. I called my wife and son to see what I found. "Is that a human, Papa?" "Why yes it is, Baby Bear. That's dınner."

r/shortscarystories 4 yr. ago [deleted] Do You Know the Muffin Man? Oh, do you know the Muffin Man The Muffin Man, the Muffin Man Oh, do you know the Muffin Man He lives on Drury Lane ** Oh, yes I know the Muffin Man The Muffin Man, the Muffin Man For he returns with dark demands You've yet to pay your debt ** The illness struck your family Your father suffered fev'rishly Your sister's cough, unsavoury Your mother struggled so ** The loved ones needed bread to eat Their health required costly meat And medicine with fruit so sweet You made the call for help ** From Drury Lane, the Muffin Man Responded to your plighted plan A contract signed with your own hand The binding pact was formed ** 'Twas eighty pounds and shillings four And food to stock the kitchen drawers With medicine to soothe the sores Your fam'ly could endure ** In leaving you, the Man implored To pay the debt – you shan't ignore For future pain (so much abhorred) Would curse if you evade ** The seasons passed – with all your strength You could not pay the funds you've take'd Your loved ones, still with sickness, shake'd The Muffin Man's arrived ** “Good sir, I cannot pay today I beg you please, will you delay My promises, I won't betray Your trust, but please more time” ** The Muffin Man says, Time is done Some men require livers young And tender kidneys not high-strung For then you see his blade ** When fam'ly wakes from sickness' hold They call for you until they're told The Muffin Man took heart and soul Your loved ones wail in tears ** Oh, do you know the Muffin Man The Muffin Man, the Muffin Man Take care, be not trapped in his hands He lives on Drury Lane

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𓊆🌸𓊇 𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓂𝒷 … ! ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ 🧁 …